Bittersweet Symphony

After a rather pedestrian and bland start to my blog, I've decided to get down to business and might as well start by explaining why I called it 'Sad Man Smiling'. The phrase itself comes from a poem I wrote the other day, but in general I love juxtapositions and oxymorons, especially in terms of bittersweetness. When I write, I generally end up with what alot of people would call bleak, depressing, downbeat, even horrific endings. But I always think there's some level of hope within. Maybe it goes back to, 'One man's treasure is another's gold'. What's sad to some is happy to others. But I think it's more than that. I think sometimes when you cry it makes you feel like smiling, maybe just because you feel alive, or because there's some kind of warmth in the situation too. I don't want to get all deep and philosophical, but maybe just get some way to explaining why I think opposites run hand in hand rather well. I'll shove the poem on the end, maybe you'll like it, maybe not. At least it should you how much I love juxtapositions.

Sad Man Smiling
I watch my beautiful bastard,
this sad man smiling,
and his manically-calm entourage.
I thought they collapsed together
but they say, “we’re waiting to rise.”
Either way they’re deflated and useless;
they’re not willing, they’re not lacking.
They just sit, tears and grins,
staring through me.
So I close the curtains on their sun,
skip their favourite tracks,
and keep them down beneath my foot.
But that sugared-sour fuck
takes me back
to memories I’d hidden,
those ones I’d discarded,
and I smile, I cry,
I join him and his allies
and I feel cleansed, fresh, natural.
“I love it
you sick fuck.”